My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
