I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish I only lived at night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
