I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
