He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
