i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can text with my tongue
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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