i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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