I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize