So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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