You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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