i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
birth control should be required to get into college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
