This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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