my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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