is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
