Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
