I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't turn off my feet"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
