i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sober January is a disaster.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
