we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
