It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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