I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You ate ashes out of my bong
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
