My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
