I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
