can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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