"it" just moved
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize