sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
