I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Acid is not a monday night drug
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
