Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
