never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize