I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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