i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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