Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
