Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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