i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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