Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
