i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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