this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize