i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
