and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
