god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
