Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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