what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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