I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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