Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
