you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
