Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
