he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
