So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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