sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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