Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
