I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You pole danced in your parka.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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