I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
