shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
