i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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