Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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