Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize