I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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