I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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