Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
