Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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