Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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