So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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