there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
