I'm going to jail i love you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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