fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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