I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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