I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sext me about skeletons
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